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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Should the Sale of Junk Food in School Canteens be banned?

Junk food is the term that used to describe the food that is to be unhealthy and have low nutritional value. It is being blamed for the increase in childhood obesity (Smith 2005). Based on the statistics from the Health Foundation, (2005) it shows that most of the snack foods such as chips, soft drinks, hamburgers, instant noodles, confectionery and cookies are categorized under foods that have low nutritional values. So, I strongly believed that the sale of junk food in school canteens should be banned as it brings more disadvantages rather than the advantages itself. Some of the reasons to support the banned in selling the junk foods are as it is unhealthy food to be eat, causes major contributor to litter problems and also to help in improving the students behavior.

Firstly, the junk foods are the contributor to the healthy and behaviour problems in children in the most country. The ingredients in the junk foods mainly consist of chemical additives which may lead to various problems such as hyperactivity and poor concentration in their study (Smith 2005). In addition, junk foods also cause the weight gain disorder. According to Lin Tran (2005), the consumption of chocolate bars and instant noodles raised the kilo joule intake and hence lead to the weight gain. So, the sale of junk food should be banned as it brings more healthy problems.

Secondly, the selling of junk food is the major cause of litter problems in the country. The litter’s problems are bad for our communities’ image and its need a high cost to cleaning it up. The school’s canteens that have reduced the sale of junk foods have also reduced their litter problems (Smith 2005). Reducing the selling of junk foods will decreases the litter problems hence the schools can spend the money for other maintenance projects that benefit the school (The Food Show 2005). From this, again, I strongly believe that the sale of junk food should be banned.

Lastly, one way to improve the students behaviour is by prevent them from having junk food. To do this, the sale of junk food needs to be stopped. From the article of The Food Channel (2005), the Child Psychologist, Caputo said that reducing unhealthy foods in children’s diet can improve their behaviour. The chemical addictives in the junk foods are the factors which generate the behavioural problems. The teacher of Hill Primary School, Green, said that the students became calmer after lunch after the selling of junk food and soft drinks is removed from the school’s canteens. In order to take care of student’s behaviour, the sale of junk food in the school’ canteens should be banned.

The sale of junk food in the school canteens should be banned as it is unhealthy food for health and a major contributor to the litter problems. Not only that, the banning of the selling of the junk food also believable to improve the student’s behaviour. Therefore, the sale of junk food in school canteens should be banned for the sake of all parties especially students.

6 comments:

  1. First of all, the introduction is well prepared as you include the facts from the articles. However, one of thesis statement that you mentioned in introductory part is not suitable to support you idea "also to help in improving the students behavior".

    There is no thesis statement are given at the last sentence of the introduction. You should state the thesis statement in the last sentence of your introductory part.

    You body paragraphs is well supported for the first body paragraph. For the second paragraph, I think there are too many repetitions regarding to word “litter problems” and its idea which “The school’s canteens that have reduced the sale of junk foods have also reduced their litter problems (Smith 2005). Reducing the selling of junk foods will decreases the litter problems hence the schools can spend the money for other maintenance projects that benefit the school”. You can simply state the consequences from the reducing litter problem at the beginning.

    For the third body paragraph, it is well explained which you more focused on the behavior problems. However, it is better to find other point which strong enough to support you argument.

    Next, for the conclusion part, all the points are clearly summarized and well organized.

    Do not have any problem regarding the citation of sources. No grammatically error that I can identify.

    So, congratulation!!!! As you able to write wonderful essays…..(“_,)

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  2. Thankyou so much for posting this! I'm in year 9 and I'm writing my English essay for school on this topic and I was really stuck for ideas but this gave me great inspiration and helped me out significantly! Thankyou!

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  4. I'm in 9th grade in America and this essay would receive a B-. Is not smooth, as if just literally completed by Rubric step by step. Nothing is integrated well. It's not water, but the third paragraph is not strong and coherent enough (where it should be the most strong). Bad essay. For anyone reading post 2016; don't take examples from the gentleman/person.

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